Sunday, January 11, 2009

Sibling Rivalry

My older two children (daughter, 11 & son 9) fight & bicker terribly. They argue from the time we wake, all the way to school in the car, upon picking them up -we aren't even out of the school parking lot and the teachers are getting an earful - mainly from me hollering for them to "Knock it off!! I'm trying to drive!" It always made me wonder why car manufacturers don't make that "limo driver window" in minivans or suburbans so Mom's don't hear all the wracket from the backseat and can safely drive their brood home.

These two, when they were younger were like buddies. Only two years apart but little "Bubba" would run to "Sissy" for hugs if he got in trouble or hurt. She was his other mother. Now this fighting has become habitual & normal and I was envisioning them grown & having to divide up the holidays spent at home!

So this morning, when another explosive moment was happening and I am in the midst of tears, wails & moans of "He jumped on my bed when I was sleeping!" & "She kicked me in the stomach!" Inspiration struck!

I said in my most authoritive voice "That's it! Both of you hug each other right now & apologize!" and then "..but wait til I get my camera first!" (ha-ha!)

They both got this stunned look, kind of like "deer in headlights" expression. My daughters teary face actually started to laugh and we had to put up with gagging noises from the 9 year old boy.

Here are those tender moments....

My daughter is always eager to pose for pictures... 2 minutes before she was crying her eyes out!..go figure...

Eww! Cooties!

Owwww! So painful the 9 year old collapsed! My daughter looks like she is sniffing an odor...

Awww! The good ole' days!

But you know it least for the time being. After this, they actually AGREED to play a Wii game together and I could hear them "asking" each other for things instead of demanding or taking control. AMAZING! Now I know I have to wield this new found power carefully so as not to abuse it's use, only reserving it for those special times - but I saw a mini miracle today! So if any of you have bickering children whom you want to sell to the gypsies, try this tactic first & let me know if it works for you. We, Mothers have to stick together! ;)


Kristens Creations said...

LOL! I'm glad they agreed to hug and play a game together. I would'nt get to used to it though! hehe! I just have one son, Chase. This past summer it was like having 3 with the neighbor kids over all the time. They would fight just like brothers and sisters. I just had to send them home several times. I enjoyed your last post and am glad your computer is working now!! Have a great week, Kristen

Anonymous said...

I'm glad they stopped long enough for the pictures lol, great tactic Mom.

I have a boy and a girl 3 years apart, you don't want to hear this, they never fight, when I used to have babysitters, the sitters would ask me, don't your kids EVER fight ? Knock wood, and I haven't a magic answer as to why...they just don't...and I know how lucky I am.

My sister and I are 13 months to the day apart and when we were young OMG did we we get along just fine, I don't know how my Mother survived LOL

Great post,
Kathy :)

Lynne (lynnesgiftsfromtheheart) said...

Oh I think it's in the unwritten rule book that children bicker.But the making up is so sweet,and you have the photos as proof. I hope this evening is a bit more quiet for you...hugs ~lynne~

ceekay said...

Oh, the good ole days. How well I remember. My children were 1 year apart and bickered constantly. One day while sitting around the dinner table, my daughter said, "Dad, he (brother) is looking at me!" My husband said, "ok, what should I do, gouge his eyes out?" They both were so shocked that we had one quiet meal!! Yep, the good ole days!

Glenda said...

You just took a page of my Mothers book on how to take care of the problem. She did this to the point that we hated to do that to each other. After a fights we had to hug, after a spanking we had to hug. It was my mothers way of doing things.

It wasn't until we were completely separated that we missed each other enough that we actually got along.

Hang on to your sanity.


Bo said...

This story was the cutest thing to read...and you just might be on to something! Dr. Spock didn't have anything on you...LOL ;-) Bo

nikkicrumpet said...

Ahhh the amazing power of a hug...I know it works for me when I'm mad at the hug and I'm putty! Glad you've found the power!

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

Laurie, this was so cute! What precious children (although I'm sure they don't look so precious to you when they are fighting)! My son and daughter fought the entire time they were growing up. Then, when our daughter left for college, our son wanted to call her long distance and talk to her all of the time! Go figure! the other laurie

Cynthia said...

Perfect way to handle that. I grew up in a house of 5 sisters and only 7 years of difference between the oldest and youngest. Lots of little cat fighting.

My Mom would ALWAYS make us hug each other after a fight. We HATED it. And that's exactly why I make my kids do it. Anything I hated so badly as a kid MUST be good parenting.

Melissa Miller said...


Love this sweet story.

I remember fighting like crazy with my two younger sisters. Now they are really and truly my best friends.