Sunday, May 4, 2008

Birds & The Bees and Other Awkward Moments...

The other day on a quick run into Homegoods, my 8 year old son needed to use the bathroom. So after asking a clerk, we were directed to the back of the store to the break room where we found the employee restroom...

My son was in there for quite a while. I had already browsed the closest three aisles to the bathroom and determined they had nothing of interest. I was getting impatient as we had to go pick up his older sister shortly. When he finally appeared, I started to rush through the store with him tagging along behind me making airplane sound effects, which I wasn't paying much attention to UNTIL he says "hey Mom, watch this!"..... know when something seems to be in slooooooow motion? That is the case here...I turn in time to see him.......(get ready) ..... shoot a feminine product through the air!!! ........

He was so thrilled with his new "toy" and was totally oblivious to it's intended purpose.. .. I quickly grabbed it from his hand and asked him where he got it. "Well, they had this little machine on the wall and it was for free!"

Oh boy, the saying "if it's free, it's for me" does not apply here! I didn't know what to say ! Glancing around to see if any fellow shoppers had witnessed this scene, I just whispered that those were for Employees Only! ...and hightailed it out of the store empty handed! A first for Homegoods!

Life is full of embarassing moments, right?

Even though we hate to go through them, we do have a good chuckle over them a few years down the road, right? Enough time has passed for me to be able to share a story that happened to someone I know...

To protect this person's privacy (ha?!) I won't reveal any names...This woman, had an important appointment scheduled. Being a bit on the shy side, this meeting had her stomach tied up in knots and she was nibbling on saltine crackers on the drive over to the appointment. After her meeting, happy that it was finally over, she gets up to leave and happens to look down at her chest to not only see a load of cracker crumbs left there but also that she FORGOT to remove the little round size sticker from her new top! So - she not only sat through this very serious appointment with a mass of cracker crumbs layered on her shirt but also a SIZE XL labeled on her womanly curves!!!

I am sure she will forgive me if she ever reads this! :)

Now getting back to my darling 8 year old son... a few months ago my 10 year old daughter got into the car after school to exclaim that they had had "The Talk" in class that day.... and when I say "The Talk" in quotes - that is exactly how she said it, with little fingers making quote marks in the air. So in the car besides Me was - my daughter, my Mother, the 3 and 8 year old boys. Being distracted as I always am with all of my offspring in the car competing for my attention, I didn't think to pause my daughter's ramblings...She went on to explain that the female teacher leading the discussion with the girls had her period at the age of 9.

My 8 year old son who was quiet up until now, pops up in the back seat and asks "what's a period?"

So while I am speechless trying to figure out what to say........My Mother quickly interjects with "at the end of a sentence!" to which my 8 year old son replies... "Oh i've been doing that since kindergarten!!" :)

The Birds & The Bee's will only be one discussion of many in the future... I will just have to take a deep breath, plaster a smile and a calm look on my face and muster through it.... hopefully that will conceal my inner shock, anxiety and total lack of knowledge!

Any stories you would like to share...? I would love to hear 'em!


Anonymous said...

I have to say those stories were very funny and touching at the same time! I am going to bookmark your blog!

Donna Lynn said...

Dearest Laurie!
First let me walk you through how to post the award...
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Email me,so I can email you about the sex talk stuff, I will then share with you some very funny stories.
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Diana Lyn said...

Hi Laurie, Too Funny, Out of the Mouths of Babes, Kids Gotta love em! I have the New Honor of going through this with my Grandchildren, all the WONDEFUL trials! I love it though! Ever listen to the Song by Trace Adkins,"Your Gonna Miss This" Listen to it ,,, it is wonderful! Have a wonderful day! Diana Lyn

Mary said...

Oh Lord, I'm ROFL! Yes, my daughter once asked me, in ringing tones, whether I needed to get "Mommy's Diapers" (Kotex) in the supermarket. I'm blushing, just remembering it...

decorator101 said...

Oh my goodness I laughed until I thought I was going to cry. God Bless the little children. Your days are certainly full ones aren't they? I so enjoy coming by and hearing of all your tales. My daughter is grown and has 2 children so I live my life thru them now and listen to all of their stories. My grandson told me the other day I wear energizer underwear. And I asked him why he would think that? Bailey repied: Cause Grandma you just keep going and going and going. Hope I always can. Hugs to you dear heart until tomorrow. Have a great evening. Lynne

Rue said...

Hi Laurie :)

I can't repeat what my son asked me, but I will say that you need to get ready for the tweens LOL

Have a great night!

Gloria said...

Oh Laurie, You always make me laugh and also remember all the times when my children were little. Out of the mouths of babes. Sounds like you have had a busy week with your career ain't motherhood fun I use to say it was the only job I could't get fired from or paid for. You have a great week Ms. Gilroy. Hugs and smiles to you dear friend. Gloria

Laurie - Decorating Fanatic said...

awwww! you are all so sweet! Thanks for reading and sharing some of your stories too...I know there will be plenty more in the road ahead! So happy I have you all to commiserate with! :) ~ Laurie

Donna Lynn said...

Go check in on my blog you are mentioned my dear!
Hope you got my email today, call me if you are still having trouble!
Donna Lynn

twintoo10292 said...

My youngest are 14 months apart and in one day I had to explain what the male part was called, where babies came from and what gay was! Getting back to your little one, I am shocked you left Home Goods with out a purchase...I'm not sure I could ever be that embarassed LOL. I just discovered one 45 minutes from my home and spent quite a bit $$ there last Friday. Love it. Twin

Picket said...

Oh my word..I thought I was the only one with those kind of stories!!! lol lol Girl that was hilarious! Hope you have had a beautiful day friend!!!!

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